‘Quids Company’ launched to assist impoverished charity chiefs

Ex charity chiefs, whose funding has dried up, are to be supported by a brand new charity ‘Quids Company’ following claims that they are likely to face severe personal hardship and social deprivation after years of financial enrichment.

The new charity will help deprived and vulnerable charity bosses in London, Liverpool and Bristol to come to terms with the ending of lucrative funding strands. A telephone support line, part funded by cash that should have gone to The Samaritans but somehow got diverted, will help those coping with the stress of any criminal investigations. Money will also be set aside to fight future legal battles and to help extended members of their families keep their mouths shut.

David Cameron has urged ministers to look into the situation and approve funding for the new charity before he gets blackmailed any further. Asked who he thinks will be a likely candidate to run Quids Company he said, ‘We are looking for a larger than life character, someone with charisma and plenty of charm who is used to getting what she wants. And very colourful outfits of course.’

In the meantime deprived children in London, Liverpool and Bristol are likely to be continually deprived after concerted efforts by the Government to cut family tax credits and funding to other charitable foundations. New drop out centres, or ‘urban academies’ are now being set up in inner cities in play-grounds, bus shelters and outside Wetherspoons at zero cost to the tax-payer.

(via New Biscuit)

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