1. The Muses Rock
Whoever decided to turn the Muses into a Motown girl group should win a Nobel Prize. Thanks to them, a lot of moments that could have just felt like boring exposition become some of the movie’s most showstopping numbers. They ensure that the movie feels fun, and that’s something that a lot of other movies forget to keep in mind.
2. Baby Pegasus Is Cute As Shit
LOOK AT THOSE BIG EYES!!!!! It’s honestly unfair how adorble they manage to make the winged horse look. This is the stuff that top quality merchandise is made of!
3. On That Note, Young Hercules Is Pretty Damn Cute Too
Our hero is especially lovable in baby form. It makes the attempted muder at the begining feel all the more devastating. Actually, while we’re on the subject…
4. The Movie Gets INTENSE
The movie is fun enough that you forget how intense it can get. It begins with two demons trying to murder a baby and just gets darker from there. Along the way, there’s death, betrayal, and sacrifice. Meg’s backstory alone is one of the darkest things Disney ever produced. Speaking of…
5. Meg Is A Friggen Bad Ass
Though she’s not technically a Disney Princess, I would still argue that Meg is the best Disney Princess there is. She’s confident, can go toe to to with the literal devil, and exudes more sexuality than any children’s cartoon has any right to. She’s complicated and not perfect, but you still end up on her side by the end of the film. She also sings the best song in the movie.
6. “I Won’t Say (I’m In Love)” Is The Hidden Jewel Of Disney Songs
HOLY FUCK WHAT A GOOD SONG! If you listen to this song and don’t feel like singing along, it means you’re broken. This song deserves to be placed along side “A Whole New World” and “The Circle of Life” on the list of all time greatest Disney songs. The fact that it doesn’t get its due is criminal.
7. Every Other Song Is Pretty Damn Good Too
Song for song, the Hercules soundtrack is the best soundtrack in all of Disney. Fight me. Like I said before, everything the Muses do is fun and catchy, and “Go the Distance” is as epic as they come. There’s not a bad number on the entire soundtrack, and that’s no easy feat.
8. Phil Is The Role Danny DeVito Was Born To Play
There has never been a more perfect piece of casting than Danny DeVito as this diminutive goat man. Phil is more Danny DeVito than Danny DeVito is, and since we can all agree that Danny DeVito is the shit, then that must mean that Phil is the shit too. It’s basic math.
9. Hades Is A Great Villain
Let me put it this way: James Woods has become the worst, most insufferable person alive, but I still can’t deny how good his performance as this hot headed antagonist was. He tows the razor thin line of being funny and scary at the same time, making for one of the greatest Disney villains ever.
10. The Nods To Greek Mythology Are Awesome
Granted, the movie is not very faithful to its source material, but that said, the constant allusions to Greek myths are more than enough to keep a nerd like me satisfied. Seeing creatures like the hydra and the Nemian Lion brought to life is awesome, and all the blink-and-you’ll-miss-it references make rewatching the movie extra fun.
11. Hercules and Meg Have The Greatest Romance In All Of Disney
I’m aroused just thinking about it! They each essentially die for eachother, and it all culminates with Hercules going down to hell to save Meg, and then giving up his immortality for her. What the fuck did Aladdin ever do for Jasmine?
12. There’s Also A Scene Where Hercules Grabs A Tornado And Uses It To Beat Up Monsters
Does it make sense? Not really. It’s still cool as hell, though.